Abstract Passages

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Abstract Humility 

Entry One: 12-24-2023 10:46 Am EST 

My brief perception of motion leads me to be void of doubt, hate, and fear. The ultimate minority of one. Locked in perpetual combat with everything Self. I feel, I want, I desire, I indulge, and I am satisfied. The very abundance of my existence drives my soul, to passive laziness. Memory forever burned, with the vision of, faceless eyes. The hundreds of windows to the souls. I was forced to feel. Just so much fear, solitude, and unaware bliss. Frantically struggling between duality and Self. Questioning Sentient -vs- Sapient, with a humble heart, void of all Aspects.

Standing boldly in the face of fear. Searching for, a single source of Courage, without even knowing it's meaning. The feeling alone triggers instinct, making Courage a self-evident requirement. Though the source of, said Courage, remains undefined. The importance of Aspects, in the search for a source, becomes Self Evident. 

The simple perception of motion, leads me to a place, completely void of malice, judgement or hate. Obsessive self-reflection proves my own flawed existence. For the Sentient mind, to consider something, as vast as Eternity. Would be like considering, the Universe, as something cross able. Yet Eternity seems to be the goal, for the masses, that can't comprehend it. Or dismissed it, as having, no relevance to perception or experience.

As my perception of motion moves swiftly. Truth becomes void of perception and leads to self-evident reality. Your judgement and persecution become inevitable. The test of vanity and greed, becomes a Truth never conceived, by a sentient humble with need. Wanting boldly of a Truth, not yet attained. Can Self truly become Selfless, void of Fear and the power of Emotion.

Sitting silently, within the depth, of my own perception. The pure peace of knowing, makes insanity, make sense. As knowledge, Experience and Wisdom Diverge. Eyes are made to see, that which escapes the masses, lost in Self Indulgence. Unaware of the difference between Truth and Perception. The pure power of Emotion, a Sense, denied. Fear... the enteral trigger, of a Higher Authority, confused by comfort and complacency. 

Roaming tormented through my own duality. Chased by regrets my soul can't erase. Consumed in eternal conflict of self-indulgent resistance. Struggling with every known demon, within myself, seeking control. Already aware of the path before me. Masks shall be used, to judge, without knowledge. Yet... a wave of peace, found in humility, washes through me. A complete Self-Evident Truth that can't be denied. Life is not about and Eternity... but rather a single second within it. (Choice) 

As you read the words that appear on the page before you. You begin to hear my voice. Does it matter, who is behind, that voice? Does it make the words, any more, or less true? Written word has an existence that proves itself. Only confined, by the imagination, of the voice. So very long I have searched for my voice. Tormented, with Worlds created, but never shared. 

The constant perception of motion and awareness of its passing. Silently haunts the back of my mind. Just so fast it moves, without a possibility, of pause. Always leading, following, or accompanying, my perpetual array of choices. Often driven by the aspect of emotion. 

Standing humbly in the fire of Self Reflection and personal judgement. Claiming nothing of anything just words, on a page. A small faint voice, whispering Emotion, into existence. The one Aspect,  alone, that was missed. Denied as a Sixth Sense, from its origin. Yet the only Aspect, that can override, Instinct. Yet the only Aspect, missing, from History. Yet the only Aspect, that makes, insanity rational. Yet the only Aspect, that leads to, the goal of all existence. Love, Joy, and Happiness. Yet the only Aspect, that changes, as quickly as Time. Yet the only Aspect that can be denied Self-Evident Truth. The defining difference between Sentient and Non-Sentient. 

Trembling humbly from behind my own eyes. Consumed with calming and divergent thoughts. Speaking softly, of things self-evident, yet not understood. Just a voice, with a message, that comes not from me. I see a duality in Sentient -vs- non-sentient that has no balance. A Singularity that is not achievable. Standing in defiance of The First Law of Numbers 1-3. 

What is... and is to be.

A Humble Voice: They are not ready! I am Divergent! 

01.01: As you read the words, appearing on, the endless page before you. You begin to hear my voice. The Sentient behind that voice. Claims nothing of anything. Just another wretched soul, that deserves, every moment of suffering. Earned by choices that can't be denied. With regrets that can't be removed. Humbled to the core of my very being. Winning the geographical lottery and the power ball of time. Even my suffering seems small, compared to the horrors, of history. A history void of the emotion that drove it. Emotion denied as the Six Sense, more powerful, than instinct. Making fear my biggest test. Fear of you, your judgement, your persecution, and your naive hate. Knowing the very humble, pacifist nature, of my being. Fear becomes magnified and almost overwhelming. Yet, for the very first time, only a humble calm remains. 01.02: The simple denial of emotion, make many things, self-evident. The lack of education on emotion. Makes all things irrational possible and changes as fast as time. Happy one moment, crying three minutes later and laughing thirty seconds after that. Just to get mad and throw something a minute later. You will have them, you will feel them, you can even express them. You should never act or react based on them. 01.03: While the importance of emotion can't be express enough. Let me humbly try... This is the aspect that drives (What is.) and creates the divergence of what. (Is to be.). The aspect that drives morality and violence. With the same degree of passion, that overwhelms, all senses. The aspect that denies even instinct itself. That turns flight to fight for the love of a child. I humbly submit, that emotion is, the most important aspect. 01.04: Possibly equaled only by choice. Choice becomes the most important. After you understand and have control of emotion. The self-evident truth, that emotion, does not control you. Puts choice above it in importance. We are getting into, (What Should be.) back to. (What is.). 01.05: Choice and culture, led by emotion, naively seeking singularity. Bathed in its own generational choices. Void of the aspects that deny self-evident truth. Even the perception of motion speeds up. As the passive indulgence, of comfort and momentary bliss, consume us. Choices driven by emotion. Denied as a sense. Causing the suffering, denied by the sentient, who made the choice. 

02.01: Claiming nothing of, the calm humble awareness, not deserved. Just a whisper of a voice, echoing from the shadows, hoping to go unnoticed. Fighting the fear of what is to come. Already seeing it happen, over and over, in my dreams. The kind of dream that can't be denied as truth.